BULLYING...

These are usual excuses you can hear around bullying situations:

"I was only teasing".

"I really did not mean to".

"He/She made me do it".

"He/She did it first".

"It was only a bit of fun".

Afterwards, there is only a sorry for the person you have hurt, usually only if you are caught by an adult (parent or teacher), and never thinking about their (the victim's) feelings or the damage you have caused.

What makes a bully?

Bullies come in all sizes, ages, races, religions and in both genders. Some bullies use words to hurt the feelings of their victim (verbal bullying), some others like to hurt people´s bodies (physical bullying). If there is teasing over the internet or texts messages, that would be called cyberbullying.

Bullies often model what they see at home. Sometimes a bully is really crying out for help. Bullies often act out because they feel they have no control over their own lives; they bully in an attempt to take control.

Things bullies might do...

• Talk loudly, and do not give others a chance to speak.
• Try to be super cool.
• Pick on kids who might be different in some way, or kids who do not have many friends, like new kids.
• Often have one or two people who hang around with them to help them "gang up" on a kid.
• Can use teasing, name calling, black mail and violence against the victim.
• Spread stories or lies about their victim.
• Try to turn everyone against that person.
• May hide, damage or take their victim's things.
• May ignore or not speak to their victim and try to get others to do the same.
• May threaten to "get" their victim or his/her friends and family.

You should know about bullies...

• They like embarrassing people or hurting people.
• They are often not confident people, which is why they pick on others.
• They often are not happy people and might have more problems than the people they pick on.
• They feel better about themselves if they can make others feel worse.
• Many experts believe that bullies have learned to bully beacause they have been bullied themselves in the past, maybe in their homes, outside or at school. (But even if you are bullied, you have a choice of what to do, you do not have to turn into a bully).
• Some people join in or go along with the bullying of others to save themselves from being bullied.

REMEMBER: BULLYING IS ONLY SUCCESSFUL IF PEOPLE DO NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, SO DO SOMETHING!!

If you are the bully...

If you get into trouble for bullying, ask an adult you trust to help you. You will need to get some help to learn to manage your feelings in ways that do not hurt other people. There are always other things you can do when you are angry or stressed or frustrated, but you may need help to work out what they could be for you.

You will also have to help other people "unlearn" about you. You will have to help them learn about the good things you can do.

Who gets picked on?

Sometimes it is hard to work out why bullies pick on some people but one thing is for sure, it is not the fault of the person who is being picked on (although there are some things that can be learned to help avoid being bullied).

Bullies generally go for...

• Anyone who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
• People who are different in any way.
• Anyone who seems like an easy target (easy to scare).
• People who are sensitive, who may cry, answer back or get upset.

You might feel like this if you are being bullied...

• Scared, lonely and hopeless.
• Feeling left out and lonely.
• Not wanting to eat or over eating.
• Not wanting to go to school.
• Doing badly at schoolwork.
• Having bad dreams.

Source: http://www.cyh.com